Fiji and the US of A
Fiji was really a bit of a cheat in the travelling stakes because we got a last minute cut-price deal for two nights in a posh hotel on a private resort (private resort=no poor/indigenous locals unless they`re serving cocktails) so I have to say that we didn´t really experience the full monty. In fact it was undeniably similar to our last summer hols in Turkey. Or Greece. Or Majorca. Or anywhere offering sun, sea and sand in approximately equal measures. Anyways you get the picture. The Ozzys and Kiwis have the excuse that distance-wise it effectively is their Majorca, but for anyone else (including us bizzarley) we´re not actually sure why anyone would choose to fly half way-and-a-bit around the world to be served pizza and chips. Our best highlight, and our only nod to real travelling, was making supernoodles in the champagne cooler - the insulating properties of which appear to have been perfectly designed for the task.
So we left, with apologies to the local islanders; our foreheads smeared to the inside of the taxi window as we returned to the airport looking at all the colourful things that we could have got up to if only we`d really tried.....
The States on the other hand, I feel we almost did in it`s entirety. In one week. This was our first country to be tackled without a copy of the Lonely Planet guide book - which we cleverly and cheaply substituted for a five dollar, small-scale map of the US and some pamphlets from the tourist office - so it only took us four states, three days and two time zones to arrive at our first destination (and I'm not convinced we'd have done better with the LP), whilst coming to the conclusion, despite much thought on the subject, that we'd be unlikely ever to feel the need to return again. (Anyone remember the start to Knight Rider? Lone crusader speeding through endless desert? That was us, that was)
OK , we´re just being mean. American people are genuinely very friendly and hospitable; We loved the "you´re welcome" after every "thank you" (especially when we realised it was just some freak genetic programming and you can trick them into doing it with a quick "thank.....s giving!". Ha ha ha.). Unfairly for the general populace it's just their government that projects itself badly - with quality gems such as the immigration card asking (and I kid you not) "Are you hear to commit crimes or other nefarious acts? (yes/no)" and "Are you carrying any type of explosive device? (yes/no)". And also the nagging feeling that it took Ritz a lot longer to get through any of the finger printing, face scans, swabs and other stupid security procedures than it did me...
But before Í`m drawn into political rant mode, here`s the good bits:
Firstly The Grand Canyon, and the national parks preceding it, are truly, erm, grand. We took a LOT of pictures of rocks. Big rocks, little rocks, red rocks, slanty rocks, crumbly rocks - in fact if you can find any better looking rocks, photo them. Then a few hundred (clearly unmeasured if you compare the roads signs to the car's odometer) miles to the Arizona meteor impact crater. Here we were disappointed (but not surprised) to find that they employed some small minded man to stop us photographing what is essentially more rock, with out dutifully paying some exorbitant entrance fee first.
And then on to the Hoover Dam. Not sure what to say about this really. It`s a dam, albeit a pretty cool one, but I did have a song on my not-Pod conveniently titled "Hoover Dam" so we got out the car and played it.
And then on to Las Vegas. You know that thing they do in the movies, where all of London is represented by a close up of the illuminated TDK sign in Piccadilly Circus? Well I imagine that a Yank visiting London would probably feel the same thing as we did on hitting Vegas. Close up it`s an expensively cheap building site, that kind of resembles Amsterdam at night - if only due to the stumbling hen parties careering down the main strip. All the same we gambled (one dollar) and lost, and went to see a show. "Stomp" who ironically started performing for free in Brighton many years ago but are just as spectacular on a paid stage.
So you think we're being a bit cliched so far? Wait till you see what we did next.
We went to Disney Land. For two days :)
Dare we enthrall you with tales of meeting the real Buzz Lightyear? or the really real Sully from Monsters inc.? (Micky and Donald are metaphorically living in trash cans supping meths these days you know). No I don't think we will. The Twilight zone Tower of Terrors, mind you, is ace!
And that is about it. If anyone can think of anything else in the US that deserves our attention please let us know - but really it is just like it is on the TV (except, like they say, perhaps bigger) so with this trip, Friends, The Simpsons, and The A Team under our belts, we think you'll struggle.
Guatamala is really good though, but you´ll have to wait to find out why.............
So we left, with apologies to the local islanders; our foreheads smeared to the inside of the taxi window as we returned to the airport looking at all the colourful things that we could have got up to if only we`d really tried.....
The States on the other hand, I feel we almost did in it`s entirety. In one week. This was our first country to be tackled without a copy of the Lonely Planet guide book - which we cleverly and cheaply substituted for a five dollar, small-scale map of the US and some pamphlets from the tourist office - so it only took us four states, three days and two time zones to arrive at our first destination (and I'm not convinced we'd have done better with the LP), whilst coming to the conclusion, despite much thought on the subject, that we'd be unlikely ever to feel the need to return again. (Anyone remember the start to Knight Rider? Lone crusader speeding through endless desert? That was us, that was)
OK , we´re just being mean. American people are genuinely very friendly and hospitable; We loved the "you´re welcome" after every "thank you" (especially when we realised it was just some freak genetic programming and you can trick them into doing it with a quick "thank.....s giving!". Ha ha ha.). Unfairly for the general populace it's just their government that projects itself badly - with quality gems such as the immigration card asking (and I kid you not) "Are you hear to commit crimes or other nefarious acts? (yes/no)" and "Are you carrying any type of explosive device? (yes/no)". And also the nagging feeling that it took Ritz a lot longer to get through any of the finger printing, face scans, swabs and other stupid security procedures than it did me...
But before Í`m drawn into political rant mode, here`s the good bits:
Firstly The Grand Canyon, and the national parks preceding it, are truly, erm, grand. We took a LOT of pictures of rocks. Big rocks, little rocks, red rocks, slanty rocks, crumbly rocks - in fact if you can find any better looking rocks, photo them. Then a few hundred (clearly unmeasured if you compare the roads signs to the car's odometer) miles to the Arizona meteor impact crater. Here we were disappointed (but not surprised) to find that they employed some small minded man to stop us photographing what is essentially more rock, with out dutifully paying some exorbitant entrance fee first.
And then on to the Hoover Dam. Not sure what to say about this really. It`s a dam, albeit a pretty cool one, but I did have a song on my not-Pod conveniently titled "Hoover Dam" so we got out the car and played it.
And then on to Las Vegas. You know that thing they do in the movies, where all of London is represented by a close up of the illuminated TDK sign in Piccadilly Circus? Well I imagine that a Yank visiting London would probably feel the same thing as we did on hitting Vegas. Close up it`s an expensively cheap building site, that kind of resembles Amsterdam at night - if only due to the stumbling hen parties careering down the main strip. All the same we gambled (one dollar) and lost, and went to see a show. "Stomp" who ironically started performing for free in Brighton many years ago but are just as spectacular on a paid stage.
So you think we're being a bit cliched so far? Wait till you see what we did next.
We went to Disney Land. For two days :)
Dare we enthrall you with tales of meeting the real Buzz Lightyear? or the really real Sully from Monsters inc.? (Micky and Donald are metaphorically living in trash cans supping meths these days you know). No I don't think we will. The Twilight zone Tower of Terrors, mind you, is ace!
And that is about it. If anyone can think of anything else in the US that deserves our attention please let us know - but really it is just like it is on the TV (except, like they say, perhaps bigger) so with this trip, Friends, The Simpsons, and The A Team under our belts, we think you'll struggle.
Guatamala is really good though, but you´ll have to wait to find out why.............
posted by fuzzweed at 11:34 AM
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